Friday, October 06, 2006

Hurricanes

On the bombing of Iraq

The sound of thunders coursing blue,
Ripping clouds in sundered night,
Ringed with eyes, (Ezekial's wheel),
They see the fleeing stricken reel.
Dervish, can you lift the fallen?
With cries of ‘Jihad’ from the rubble?
Twisted rock and timber rising
In anger at the tears, (surprising),
The sky gods in their justice weep.
Presumption is laid less than flat
As craters fill with smoke and dead.
The signature of nations’ dread
Upon the deed and lease of least.


by Evan Wilson

3 comments:

Wolfgang Foxglove said...

Well and good, sort of. One critique: The use of "Surprising" injects a sudden dose of sarcasm when none was either anticipated or suggested by anything else in the poem. The end effect of the line is that it sounds like you were clutching for a rhyme, hence "Surprising."

Have to admit though, I envy the last couplet.

Cheers.

The Oracle said...

To be envied one's couplets. Can it get any better?
I agree with you on "surprising".

thebeloved said...

The sky gods don't weep much over here, I'm afraid; at least not yet.