Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Love Losing or Losing Love

There is competition both formal and informal. In it all we are asking a question. It is "Who wins and why?" The very word "competition" announces to us our mutual interest in that which may be had by only one. Nations compete for territory and tribute. Corporations for trade routes and profits. And individuals for that brief whiff of social standing, the definition of the Self.

Games are great for the exercise of the latter. Point totals, rules and limited times and terrain all compound to make the winner able to cash in a quantifiable for his or her Self definition. Ah, yes, the winner. It is always the winner, darn his hide! But the loser, the sulky, angry, excuse-making, "second place is never good enough", sort of loser is a unacceptable problem to the spirit of grace incumbent on Christians. I guess they just did not like the answer to the question expressed earlier.

Who wins? The other guy.
Why? He was better than you.
What is your problem with that? You are not wise.

"First you call me a loser and then a fool?
You are not making friends, O Oracle. "

What else should I call you?

You are playing a game. You anticipate being able to win. The point totals at the end would verify your self assessment. You rise from the table torqued, affronted, and pouty. The point totals said other than what you anticipated. They rebuked your false definition of self and to pout is to be a fool. Rejoice for you have been reproved in a false notion of yourself. Love them who beat you, for they are your teacher. For do not the Scriptures say:

Proverbs 9:8 Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you;
reprove a wise man, and he will love you.
9 Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser;
teach a righteous man and he will increase in learning.

17:10 A rebuke goes deeper into a man of understanding
than a hundred blows into a fool.

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

My Humiliation

And so it came to pass that Ian Tracy, resident of the court and child to Darel and Karla, count and countess of Eagle and the South, did profess with gun and repeated ventures to the woodlands to kill something larger than a hedgehog. As the days of such venture increased in number, so did the mocking words of the Marquis of Mojo. He didst rail on the young man. In his humor, he offered to bow down to young Tracy if any blood be spilt. The days and nights of seeking continued apace. The Marquis words were forgotten except when another opportunity to joke at the lad's expense arose.

Then, one night, as the court sat robustly feasting on goodly victuals, the young Nimrod stood in the door. His hands dripped with the blood o f his prey. He pointed at the Marquis whose heart turned to stone within him. Courtiers and ladies in dumbstuck silence paraded their crushed overlord into the street . The weight of his vow pushed him to his knees and he did homage to the killer of stags and young women's hearts.

The moral of the story: It is better that you not vow, than vow and not pay.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The Tao

On Saturday, October 24, 2009
at the Big Haus
325 N. Polk, Moscow, Idaho
beginning at 10:00 a.m.

Cost: $50 per person
for single or married women

Contact for PDF registration brochure:

This seminar is an event that provides both the substance and enjoyment of the strengths that God has given women. It is a day of information (five talks on the Biblical structure of the Christian lady) topped off with a delightful dinner and fellowship.
We hope for a lighthearted and thoughtful day in which the social, spiritual, and mental tasks for the Christian lady are pursued. You will probably hear things you don’t want to hear but you will suspect that you needed to hear them.
Each session is taught by Mr. Evan Wilson. (Yep, he’s a guy.) Mr. Wilson is the pastor of All Souls Christian Church, philosopher in his own mind and a frustrated artist who, over many years of discussion and practical counsel, has developed a systematic on the strength and dignity that is the Christian lady.
The cost is $50, which covers the classes, a notebook with essential documents, a light lunch, coffee breaks, dinner, and least importantly, a Certificate of Achievement. The seminar is limited in size, so prompt registration is encouraged. It is for women only (married or unmarried) who have reached a time where understanding these things is needful.
We cannot promise to make you a lady, or guarantee that you will understand men, but we will deliver a philosophy that will leave you without the excuse, “No one ever told me”.
And our motto is:
“It’s the Thought that Counts.”

Seminar Schedule: 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.
Wisdom and Folly are personified as women in the first 9 chapters of Proverbs.
Men are instructed to seek the one and avoid the other.
Which, Wisdom or Folly, is incarnated in you?
light lunch
What is the desire of men all about, and how should a Christian woman deal with it?
From dating to modesty to marriage, a knowledge of Reality informs the Maid
on which way she should go.
30 minute break
To accept the Biblical instruction for women, a woman must come to grips with the
nature of hierarchy and the demands of honor. The issue of security and fear finds
God’s gift of a husband understood properly and with satisfaction.
30 minute break
Fourth Session: THE WAY OF A LADY
This is an effort to “gentle our condition”, by suggesting less of what to do and more of how to think. The claim is that the Fifteen Rules are true within all societies, practicable regardless of any economy, and sufficiently corrective at any time in history. Be she a Hottentot or a Hohenstaufen, the gentled philosophette will be guided to successfully fill the current culture’s task requirements by the guide of her considered philosophic vantage.
30 minute break
Proverbs 31 describes a rather muscular domesticity. This last session
looks at what qualities a young woman should obtain to be called “the Blessed”.
1 hour break
Dinner— 7:00
perhaps a reading of the short story
“The Father of All Courtship”
Attire: Casual

FIN — 10 p.m.

Contact for PDF registration brochure:

Thursday, September 03, 2009

But Mentally Add One More Citizen to Evanistan

Hail to the Beauteous
Manisha Wilson!

pic by
Helen Schiebe

Unto To All I Survey

With the moment of Empire upon me,
The Legions would cry out in acclaim,
If I stood at the center of power,
But I went home alone once again.

(pause for a sublime sensation of lost causes)

And Helen Schiebe took a picture.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009


So the Amazing Missus and I have trod the rosy fields of bliss, lo, these 31 years today. It has not been all hand holding and baby talk but an insightful dissection of our happiness so that others would not be forced to guess.
What am I saying?
Keep your calendar free for November 6-7, 2009.
It is open to singles as well.

Thursday, August 06, 2009

For Your Use

"It is good to be quoted."

Evan Bruce Wilson

Friday, July 17, 2009

Is this True?

Order is better than disorder.
Order within the Overorder is better that order without.
He who is able to order is better than he who can't.
And he who comprehends the functional relationship of his order and the Overorder, that man, he is a saint.

"Think about it, then pop off." John Barry

Saturday, July 04, 2009

I Apologize

I am a loyal American citizen. I have served in our country's military. I like hot dogs and fireworks with the usual middle-aged verve of the chunkier portions of my generation. I put my hand over my heart at the appropriate occasions. So, on this day, this Fourth of July, I pass on one other aspect of acute, if Cassandra-like, mental precision.

We were wrong.
George the III was right and was the Lord's anointed.

So in the spirit of a Democrat Congress apologizing for the perfidy of others, I apologize to Her Majesty, Elizabeth the II for my country's sins.

I am perhaps alone in the metaphoric rending of garment. Mayhap it be only I for whom the potato salad turns to ashes upon consumption. But it is also I alone who will stand with eyes narrowed as the Great Unwashed gyrates through their patriotic fit.

I am loyal to America as she is, as I live in her. So it is of now I celebrate America thankful for the order and protection she provides.
Celebrate her founding? Pshaw!
I am big on King Solomon. Not so big on the adultery and murder that brought his mom and dad together.

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Society for Classical Learning Conference

I been gone, just me, alone.
Gone away to San Antone.
"But, baby, baby," I moanin' phone,
"It's hot as sin. I'm comin' home."

Friday, June 05, 2009

Parents: A Five Ton Dumb Truck Filled with Ten Pound Sacks of Stupid

If all men seek peace, all men will notice those that have it. He who has it, Peace not merely placidity, has it for cause. Does he know the cause and did he craft, design, submit to, or recognize that cause? Could he communicate it to the curious among the rest of man? The rest all want that which he has and he both understands and can convey what brought his peace to be. The rest will learn from him and will follow in his Way.
Peace will be caused by an applied order and the quality and nature of the Peace will be the quality and nature of the order.
Peace with God means you have ordered, reconciled, ceased to rebel in your life before God. Domestic peace means the home (its schedule, furniture, cleanliness, etc) is in order. Relational peace means that your nearest and dearest have ordered their expression of relational emotion.
In whatever kind of peace men seek they will consider very seriously that kind of order that the peaceful example of such recommends.

In other words...
Your children, O Christian parent, want a Peace and have ample time to perceive it in you. If you have it, Peace not merely placidity, do you know why and can you communicate that why? If they want to be like you (does anyone want to be like you?), they will want to know and they will follow.

(As an aside: they don't want denominational/orthodox peace first and foremost so don't base the home order on catechizing. They need to see you satisfied by the Love of God, obedient by grace not Law, loving your neighbor as yourself, living by reason not passion).

But more than likely...
If you are not at peace, you are either boring (placid without cause) or a collection of chaotic moments. Who (since all men want peace) wishes to follow either example? In the dull they can't spot any cause which is transferable other than a commitment to abject soullessness run through a word generator of Christian terms and trends. In the chaotic parent, they, the children already have what you have, thank you very much. You live by impulse and passion and so do they. If you want them to "turn out" ought you not "turn out" first? Who would wish to believe that which you claim to believe when you cannot show that it caused any peace in you?

You are dull and thankfully can't blame Jesus or you are "swayed by various impulse" none of which produce peace or an understanding of the ordered life.

This is the answer to every parental concern.
When your "Jesus" didn't fix you, why would your children hope in Him.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

The Lieutenants at Big Haus

At the Big Haus we have had tenants for almost thirty years. Our ministry has been to introduce them to the Christian mind on any subject that came up. These tenants got only an ad hoc experience but it seemed to bear fruit for the Kingdom of Heaven. This multi-decade commitment convinced us we might know what we were doing and it encouraged us to shape the ministry more consciously. This last year we added the role of a Big Haus lieutenancy. Our supporters endowed two rooms which we can offer to people, (rent free but they pay for food), who come to go through a structured program covering the most influential things that have shaped our own thought. This last year Andrew Knecht spent two semesters here and Travis Schnider one semester. I've asked them to write up a general impression. This post is what Andrew provided and Travis' will be posted when it arrives.

Andrew Knecht

The Big Haus offered a wonderful opportunity to me this past year. The Lieutenancy program offered through the Big Haus Society blessed me in many facets of my life. Mr. Evan Wilson's reading curriculum covered a wide area of topics from which to choose any number of discussion points, from education to metaphysical beings, the purpose and place for humor to a life in the Holy Spirit, from the dilemmas of espionage to what women and men really want. Each author provided aspects to better understand the Big Haus way of life, one of peace and understanding. Discussions both formally with Evan and around the house generally encouraged honing of my ideas and development of my philosophy. And although I was provided with Evan's theories on each subject, self-assurance and truth-seeking were the goal in all talks. The lifestyle of the Big Haus propagates love, honor and hospitality.

Through the Big Haus Lieutenancy, seeing and understanding how and why Evan and Leslie Wilson live as they do, I am seeking more fervently a life in tune with God's Word and Truth. I gained tools and ideas to catapult my thought to deeper and more practical areas. I enjoyed great authors and found others to read in the future. I ate like a king and praised God for the hospitality I and others enjoyed. I thank God for giving me the circumstance to grow and mature.

"A tranquil mind gives life to the flesh, but passion makes the bones rot."

Proverbs 14:30

The Oracle again:

We have just started a young lady named Kensington Baines on the program and we have one other open spot for a person whose interests match what we provide.

If you know anyone who might be interested in such, check us out here.

An application is here.

If you would like to share in supporting this work, our contacts are available at this link.

Friday, April 17, 2009

I am the Soul of Passion

I Peter 1:14-16 As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, be holy yourselves in all your conduct; since it is written, "You shall be holy, for I am holy."

Passions. This is what moves you, gives you cause for the various effects you encounter when you are stupid. Yep, that's it folks. If you don't have a reason or habit for doing something (and reasons can be assessed and habits trained) you will use your passion for doing something. Then your life become "Stupid on Parade." The removal of ignorance is a great antidote for passionate foolishness. Have you ever wondered why, with all your religious protestations, you still sin like a fraternity brother? Try thinking about your life rather than waiting for Jesus to show up like a buxom blond.

Don't get me wrong. I am a fan of passion, at least those that involve the desires of the flesh and the eyes. Why seem I to be bashing them? I am not. I am entering your life today to suggest that you reposition passion. Heretofore you have used it as a cause. It has gotten you into sin, folly and dumb decisions. Occasionally it is positive, but trust me, that was only accidental. I would suggest that you place passion as "effect" rather than "cause", the punctuation of the sensible sentence of your life, thought, and wise/holy choices. Let wisdom and holiness take a wife for you "not in the passion of lust like the heathen who do not know God." Enjoy this well selected wife passionately. Let good sex be an effect of a good choice and good ideas. Pursuing your fleshy passions as a cause gets you a few nights of steam and a subsequent life of hell. Make up your mind first. A mind made up is examinable. Talking to the drunken ramblings of the passionately driven is not beneficial for they cannot understand. Their "cause" is passion and their life reflects that especial teenage brilliance. So many lives are proudly run this way that many ministries succumb to this method of life decisions and try to replace passions that cause sin with an uninformed "passion for Jesus." Such people and ministries are especially susceptible to false teachers.
II Timothy 3:6-7 For among them are those who make their way into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and swayed by various impulses, who will listen to anybody and can never arrive at a knowledge of the truth.

The desires of the Spirit are in this way different from the desires of the flesh. Our possession of the Spirit rests on a response, belief, and conclusion regarding a Truth. This is an informed position on the Nature of Things. Wisely based passions, those existent as effects of truth, do function as future causes but they have been guided. They serve and harmonize with the truth that bred them. A wisely selected, passionately enjoyed wife (versus a passionately selected, wisely regretted one) does find her husband more enjoyably bound to the the marriage. When passion is an effect of a thoughtful good it can become a cause of good.

I Peter 1:13 says, "Therefore gird up your minds, be sober, set your hope fully upon the grace that is coming to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. "

Tuesday, March 31, 2009


Thanks to Molly Worthen, (correspondent to the stars and Edmund Burke monarchist) me and my faithful pipe have attained to a brief appearance in the Evangelical stratosphere.

My natural "soft spoken"ness precludes me vaunting myself in any kind of triumphal way but of course, you, my faithful vassals, can fill in the blank.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

The Evantine Order for the Very Calm Life: Rule Five

Mammon, unclaimed by any responsibility perceived by thy wife, shall be found in sufficient quantities in thy wallet upon entering a book selling establishment.

As the Scriptures say, "Money answers everything. While most Americans would freely chorus that loads of money would contribute to the Very Calm Life as they imagine it to be, this rule is about the "thing" purchased while remaining guilt free. We mentioned last rule that "pretty and lusty" was not a grant for totalitarian control. Still, in order to keep the pretty one in your marriage free from temptation to be contentious and fretful, we must not spend the children's milk money on books. But books are the point. The residue of a civilization is in these magical things.

Think for a moment on how perfect the needed interface between centuries is solved by the phonetic alphabet (Peace be upon the Phoenicians) , the invention of movable type (Peace be upon Gutenburg), and the sewn signature codex. Computers are a tool to that glorious end but they cannot compete for kingship in the interface. Sure all of this and more is on the Internet, but let's be frank, it isn't yours until you print it out. Then what do you have? A pile of paper, that's what. Your portion, your pillage of the Past is not to be had for keystroke, log in, and laser printer. The selection in your personal library announces the measure of your fief. What did you purchase? What did you want to know and how permanently did you want to have the source of that knowledge at hand to know again? A man or woman is measured to him, herself, and any that enter their library (please tell me you have one) by the collection. Staring down on us are spines declaring information which only years of conversation with the owner of the collection would give you. Do you see Dr. Johnson or Dr. Phil? And it is even more insulting if the second doctor is in hardback (and if they don't know of whom I was speaking regarding the first).

You cannot declare more about yourself and you cannot arrive at that place so declared, without books. Thus it is that the growth and change of your collection must never be hampered by insufficient funds as you stare at the outer door of a used book establishment. Many a wife will measure her best beloved by his checkbook, his knowledge of household appliances, his diligence in career. What those are is a slight momentary read such as a garden thermometer or the weather report for the week. His library, O goodwife, is the climate and the seasonal prospect of the place in which you dwell. Next time you walk into it (having, of course, genuflected at the door), stand a moment in its rich silence, then politely thank them.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

The Evantine Order for the Very Calm Life: Rule Four

Varieties of tobacco,
every desired kind of thine and thy friends,
shall plenteously fill thy storehouses,
shaken down and running over.

This is at least as important as the possession of a Good Wife to the advancement of Calm. Kipling famously said, "And a woman is only a woman but a good cigar is a smoke." In that poem (The Betrothed, see poster for sale here) the potential wife is demanding that her future husband choose between her and his cigars. Each Rule of the Very Calm Life is expected by the Abbot to "play well with the others". A wife with Calm providings will not deny you the other providers of Calm. No woman is pretty enough or lusty enough, to deny you butter, bacon, or books. Let her also not be peevish about tobacco. "Pretty and lusty" only can bring part of the Calm to a man. Let the shoemaker stick to his last.

Many years ago, I was (and am now) a smoker of both pipe and cigar. Also many years ago, the ministry in which my Amazing Missus and I engaged (and do now) is that of hospitality. The one was for me in my thinky moments and the other was for the Kingdom of God. And then an epiphany of goodness, pleasure, and the essential growth in Calm Living was given. A close friend of mine, as I visited him in his office, offered me a cigar. It was a very good cigar and it was offered within his office. The two worlds of thinky moments and hospitality became one. This friend, this saint, this "angel-straight-from-God" continued this offering every time I went by to see him. I solemnly affirmed that I would measure hospitality thusly, a "Hail Fellow, Well Met" sort of hospitality and that I might bless others as he did me.

The world of men (and very good women) wears the smell of burning tobacco as a badge of danger, thought, camaraderie, and conversation. Hold this leather chaired bliss out against a nanny-state world that is trying, with all engines running, to drive any semblance of "hearth side" from our allowance and cultural memories. As an aside, dastards like Mayor Bloomberg of NYC have moved to destroy any good thing that gives "enjoyment" higher status than "health" (he has banned trans fats and is working on salt). Men are not "allowed" to even smoke within the four walls for which their hard work has paid. All this is becoming an inhospitable Utopia where long life at any cost becomes the Hell they insist on calling Heaven. But we know, (don't we men?), that nothing can match (no pun intended) the bliss of staggering up from a table of eye-crossing victuals which ran with rivulets of "fat things", waddling into the library and lighting up a combustible dessert that some "man of God" pressed into your chubby hand. Let the welcome matte be laid out for similarly longing comrades. After food and drink, tobacco runs up the score. And when you offer a cigar, make it a good cigar wrapped in the memories of being rolled on the thighs of a large Jamaican woman.

By "plenteously", my friends, I mean so much or many that no note of selfishness will beset you as you open the box before them. Our Lord asks us to make friends for ourselves with unrighteous mammon. If I hand a visitor to my home three dollars, my gift would be soon forgotten. Make it a three dollar cigar and you have bought yourself a friend, for the same small monetary value, yes, but mixed with rare place and priceless company. This is a largesse, the scattering of which makes eternal friends. And nowadays what could be more "unrighteous" than smoking.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Tub Time: Who Do You Think You Are?

Someone asked me the other day, "What is up with the perpetually offended?" I have written of these sorts before but an angle presented itself as I floated on my sea of Archimedean Displacement and Ivory Soap (it floats).
Let us say that someone gossiped about you. In other words, you were a victim of gossip. If you were a person of perpetual offense, you would say that "So-and-So sinned against me." While the phrasing is perhaps valid the meaning is not. So-and-So sinned against God with you as the victim. When you suggest to your own outraged feelings that the sin was against you, you suggest that you had promulgated a law against gossip and S0-and-So had failed to obey your law.

Now we can understand better the white rage with which the offended pose.
These twerps think they are gods.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

The Evantine Order for the Very Calm Life: Rule Three

Thou shalt have one lusty member of the weaker sex as thy spouse.

Does this go without saying? I'm just askin'.

For those whose sensitivities have been compromised by the Spirit of the Age (perhaps to the extent that they voted for Obama) this may seem a bit archaic, a bit medieval, the droolings of an unenlightened Idaho hick. Perhaps you are a man who doesn't want or wish for the Very Calm Life. Perhaps your version of life would invite the term "gelding" or perhaps you are just a little light in the loafers.
Perhaps you are offended at the patriarchal presumption this rule seems to take.
(I believe that one ought be a gentleman in the treatment of women and if the delicately nurtured have felt a little off putting occurred with words like "lusty" and "weaker", I completely understand and encourage you to read no further and perhaps leave this blog altogether.)
Perhaps that "Perhaps" was not the complaint of the delicately nurtured.
Perhaps you are a member of the "Sisters of the Fretted and Fevered Brow", the women who are angry at the supposition that they are (as the rule stated) the "weaker sex" but find that they are not strong enough to do anything about it. Bummer. That. has. got. to. sting.

The Evantine Abbey is a monastic order not a nunnery. You can make your own rules for the chicks. Heck, if you wait long enough I might get around to writing some. Number three could be rewritten to say, "Thou shalt have one strong man ("Que es Mas Macho" rating of 7 or higher) to tell you how to vote and stuff."

But to the real need and point, what is this rule not saying?
Marriage does not make the Very Calm Life. In fact the Scriptural Proverb in the running for the most repeated is "Better to dwell in the corner of the roof than under it with a contentious and fretful woman." Many women do not bring Calm along with them.

Points affirmed by the rule: This woman whom thou shalt marry will be the "weaker sex" referential to you. An Achilles can marry an Amazon but a Casper MilkToast had better not. A wife is not here to remake you, protect you, and provide for you. The weakness brings gentleness from the husband, and a more precise and civilized gentility.
The Scriptures say "Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them." Colossians 3:19
and "Likewise you husbands, live considerately with your wives, bestowing honor on the woman as the weaker sex, since you are joint heirs of the grace of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered." I Peter 3:7
It also provides, as a more jeopardized citizenry in a man's kingdom, a greater need of clear border and better, wiser government.
She is given, in this protection, a realm, a domestic vision and a finite prospect for her efforts and daily contribution. Good things, that men like, get builded there. While a man has a more imperial prospect than his wife, the Calm Life exists most measured in the intimate aspect within the doors of his abode. The details, well builded, produce a calm which, like the smell of baking bread, reach the far corners of his imperial attempts and benefit those efforts. The civilization a good wife provides reaches out to inform the broader world of the benefit of that married couple's kingdom. And those Philistines you know(whose wives work professionally but don't domestically) will look on your archaic, medieval, and hickish life and wonder at, and perhaps damn, the beatific calm.

Don't think I skipped lightly over the word "lusty". A man wouldn't, nay shouldn't, marry at all if he has no desire for connubial bliss. But then, this rule is not about His desire but Hers. Having married, the blessing of his underwear being washed and folded is a collateral benefit but not a sufficient reason to pay the folder's medical bills for the foreseeable future. Lustiness in one's wife is the first and necessary signal to a calm man's sense that all is right in his world. She is First Citizen, Grand Vizier, Her Man's Lieutenant in all Things, chief beneficiary of all that he conquers, surveys, and eventually bequeaths. If she does not eagerly reward his urges, hail the conquering hero with some verve, then he has been measured at the closest vantage, by the best beloved, as not impressive enough to receive a woman's central contribution to marriage. It is what a man expects since the act of "one flesh" is the Creation of Eve Reason for leaving father and mother and cleaving. It is encouraged by the Apostle as avoiding and doing without is discouraged. Absence of this urge is sufficient reason to not marry at all. The other services a wife provides are more cheaply had by domestic staff and a passel of good friends.

Let us finish by saying that the Calm ratios are not met if the key and central reason for a man having a wife is met infrequently and disinterestedly. See if a woman has the same "you ought to tolerate this because God won't let you leave" assessment if the husband was "infrequent and disinterested" in fulfilling her expectations for provision in any area (emotionally, spiritually, financially, socially).
Build a life together which protects your wife's construction of a family civilization.
But a sexual buzzkill is no wife worth having.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The Evantine Order for the Very Calm Life: Rule Two

The second is like unto the first.
Breakfast shall greet thee on thy descent
and it shall be of the hearty and hot kind.

What is the point of bacon and a constant supply of it within one's refrigerator if it does not emerge. And by emerge I mean like the superheated mass of Apollo's chariot heralding the day set before your glory seeking eyes. There is a declaration in the sizzle of bacon, hash browns, eggs, biscuits and sausage gravy (with a side of English muffin and marmalade should the wifely unit not have time to conjure the cinnamon rolls last seen in the beatific vision). That declaration is not merely the lusts of someone whose "god is their belly". While the list of foods is inspirational it is not Levitical Law. Those details, if stressed, can spoil the poetry and miss the point of these rules.

One of my communicants suggested that the thickness of the bacon should have been insisted upon in the first rule but I thought that the phrase "thick sliced bacon" bordered on the redundant. I avoid descriptive detail as our point dwells not in even the butter and bacon (peace be upon them) but in the soullessness of those who discount and avoid those glories.

The key words in this rule, that thy heart and eye shall follow (and shall not pity), are "breakfast", "greet", "descent", "hearty", and "hot".
The Very Calm Life is lived where no meals are missed. Hurried schedules betray you.
The Very Calm Life is lived when someone else cares enough or is paid enough to relieve you of fixing your own sustenance.
The Very Calm Life is multistoried. A ranch home is pedestrian.
The Very Calm Life is hearty enough to be wasted. "Is that all there is?", should not be a phrase falling from your lips as the last bits of Pop Tart or cereal disappear past them. And that provider of your morning needs has not just placed a box of Cheerios next to an empty bowl, spoon at the ready. We are not in a primitive society where the cooking art has not visited the mastodon we slew. That mastodon is made into sausage and fried up with three archeopteryx eggs (over medium).
So what do I mean?
Do not hurry, possess retainers, eschew the common, embrace the extra, and taste the art.

Ecclesiastes 5:19-20
Every man also to whom God has given wealth and possessions and power to enjoy them, and to accept his lot and find enjoyment in his toil -- this is the gift of God. For he will not much remember the days of his life because God keeps him occupied with joy in his heart.

Monday, January 19, 2009

The Evantine Order for the Very Calm Life: Rule One

The Oracle, many years past, needed to describe what things, apart from righteousness and peace with God, conspired, when present, to calm the life on which they smiled. Those easily recognized things in the life of the Oracle, were jotted down and naturally became ten rules and with them the Evantine Order was born. The monks who submit to these regulations are a pious lot and easy to mark out from their fellow man by the wide grin on their countenance. This manuscript was found, marked with the coffee stains of centuries, taped to the wall above the author's computer desk. It is quite possibly the oldest copy of this wisdom in the hands of scholars today. We asked the author if it were and he said. "Yep."

What is the first of these guides to guideless man? This is.

Thy larder, aptly so named, shall be ever plenished with butter and bacon.

It sounds simple enough. Butter and bacon in the house, at all times, no exceptions. Why? If you can find a better repository of heavenly flavored fat, we will add it to the list.
No, margarine will not do. Margarine is evidence that the lower classes have been given too much money. They will buy a product on symbol alone. Is it vaguely yellow and does it come in a paper wrapped rectilinear form? Does it melt when heated? This is sufficient evidence that it must "taste" the same. It is cheaper. It looks like butter, but in fact is an idol, a graven image of the True which primitive and backward people have not the sophistication of discernment to measure.
This class of humanity thinks that if something bears the symbol of a reportedly good flavored item (say steak, or butter, or coffee) it will report not through the tongue and its taste buds but through the helpful symbol reader. Language becomes the real. These people think that Applebees really is a "neighborhood bar and grill". It has "stuff" up on the wall and handy pictures in the menu to be sure that your symbol reader will read steak when that animal product piece of gristle shows up at your table. Thus, since apple pie is known to be the All American Wonder dessert, the round pie shaped piece of sheet rock and apple sludge that your mother or wife made, is good. If the pie had something claiming to be a crust, the symbolist taster comments on what the symbol demands, flakiness, oh my yes, the flakiness. What passed their lips, tongue and taste buds without pausing for conversation, was oven hardened Play-Dough.

Tasters taste, they do not read their food.
Tasters who have seen Heaven opened in the form of butter and bacon will accept no substitute.
Because fat, well, fat satisfies. And butter and bacon are the Platonic form of fat.
It is a basic food group for those who love life. All lesser forms of fat are moved by sensibility to cost (and the ratio of taste lost to coinage saved is unsustainable) or fear ("I will become fat and die").
The Calm Life does not fear. It welcomes a fat death if you did not become fat on symbols. The Calm Life knows what it is enjoying and the path that enjoyment walked to pleasure. And if there were a hundred dollar difference between butter and margarine, it would just mean that the Calm Life would have to wait until you could afford it.

Monday, January 12, 2009

I Don't Have the Time.

If we are not pantheists (in which all is god) than God is discrete from that which is not God. He knows that which is Himself and that which is not. And given those two realms of that which is (God and not-God), the referent of a point of knowledge which God possesses can be spoken of as being either Actual or Conceptual. That which is Actual has a referent outside of God. It exists and isn't God. That which is Conceptual has a referent inside of God (a mental construct as memory or anticipation would be) and it has no non-God actuality.
When the question of God's foreknowledge (or past-knowledge for that matter) arises, these two categories do as well. Is God outside of Time looking down on Actualities? Or is Time not in question at all because God's knowledge of the future (or the past) is Conceptual? I mention the past, for so many wish to create a special sphere of atemporality in which God might dwell without examining whether or not they are talking nonsense. If God is looking down on Time from an atemporal vantage then those things observed are Actual and existent. Christ is still on the cross (for God) and always was (for God) and will be forevermore. The Trinity can never be fully united for those words of Christ, "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" will ring in actual existence for God, forever. Amen? That or the knowledge of God regarding the past is Conceptual (just like your memories) and He "remembers" what was, not sees what was but saw. Maybe, dare I suggest it, that God's knowledge of the Future is equivalently Conceptual? In fact, the Death of Christ on the cross is burdensome for Future thought as well as Past. Why, you ask? The Trinity of God,(atemporal and dealing with Actualities), has been eternally lacking in Triuneness since He has been eternally in a knowledge relationship with everything that is Actual and that Actual, (because Actual) binds and defines the content of truth of the thing known. So the Actual crucified state of Jesus is and was and will be (from our temporal vantage and language) the state of God. And to add insult to the injury of this silly talk of Time, God's relationship with Himself in the Trinity is also known and enjoyed as united for there have been "Times" when the atemporal God looked down on Actual non-separation AND rejoiced in the Tiune presence of the Conceptual knowledge of Himself, fully and truly united. So... Actual separation and Actual non-separation both being true for God in the same "God-moment" regarding the same characters. Looks like you either have to throw out the "Universal Law of Non-Contradiction (A cannot be non-A) or throw out Time.
It is actually a choice between you being able to "know" anything because you have made statements which call laws of Logic into question or you reject a dimension called Time. It was cute when you didn't think about it too much.

And if you are a Calvinist, God help you, but you didn't need Time in the first place. Your benighted definition of God has His foreknowledge resting in the Decree, not foresight and atemporality.

Big Haus Christmas