Friday, January 13, 2006

Futilitarians: King Solomon, St. Paul, & Me


Futility, get used to it. Sure, you'll go through the stage of denial in which you strive to make a utopia (be it some patriarchal home-schooled courtship hell or hunter-gatherer hobbit-hopes-in-a-hemp-skirt or money making till my bank balance has a gravitational field or a military insistence for one-man-one-vote for one-man-four-wives barbarian or make up your own , it's fun). Then the stage of frustration ("So I hated life" said Solomon and "groan inwardly" said St. Paul, "oh heck," said Evan). Finally, because we have to do something, a tactic. "Enjoy life", recommends the King. "Long for and bask in your future and guaranteed Glory" suggests the Apostle. "I'm gonna do both," saith the Oracle. "Thanks boys!"

Oh yeah, "futilitarian" is a term free of copyright. Use it with legal impunity but if you are a gentleman, you'll mention my name as its "reverend father", as in "Evan, he of oracular giftings and the reverend father of the Futilitarians once said...". It doesn't matter if you love me or like me as long as you quote me.

6 comments:

Lady Enide said...

A quest to wield the whining quips of wiseacres and worrywarts throughout the world... that *is* fun.

I went ahead and quoted this entire post on my site, counting on your paternal generosity and my ability to revoke the copy should you choose to employ meteorological fire and brimstone instead. Also, I'd like permission to found a Futilitarian convent... I've yet to escape my denial, see....

The Oracle said...

And that convent?...you know it wlll only last 7-800 years max. As Solomon says, "You'll be gone in just a few years and you don't know what sort of fool will be Abbess then."

Ibid said...

I would have thought Solomon somewhat more qualified as an authority on this subject. Evan, Solomon. Evan, Solomon. Hmm. I bet Solomon was even more vain than you.

The Oracle said...

Measured in my effect on women, I am 1/1000 of the man he was.

Lady Enide said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Lady Enide said...

This is what I meant to say: I appreciate your response on my Xanga, and I would like those 15-point codes, if you would be so kind. Email can be found on my profile.