Thursday, June 29, 2006

Important Dirt on Me

I have a dirt collection. It is an inexpensive hobby and virtually no attention is paid to it. It is known and others do my collecting for me. My dirt ( in eighth cup quantities) must be from important and mostly unexpected/quirky places that you should not expect to see above the door of a private library in Moscow, Idaho.
I have
1. a bit of Edinburgh
2. a bit of Ireland
3. a bit of the "grassy knoll"
4. a bit of the Garden of Eden
5. a bit of the Isle of the Lotus Eaters
6. a bit of the Acropolis
7. a bit of the top of the tumulus at Marathon

Those that are not of mine own collection have a blessing recorded on the bottle to the person responsible. For example the Isle of the Lotus Eaters is labeled, followed by"Bless Katie Botkin".
If you wish to have your name immortalized in Sharpie marker on the side of a single serving jam jar, send me your dirt with its particulars. Be warned that I am the final arbiter of its importance. Someone might wonder why I would be disinterested in dirt from Gettysburg and very interested in dirt from Glen Livet. These are mysteries of mine own mind and some of you understand. You can always check before you risk arrest in a second or third world country. Is your soul prepared to be enshrined? Let us hope so.

2 comments:

Wolfgang Foxglove said...

Is Glen Livet famous for anything other than the drink?

thebeloved said...

Are there any middle eastern ones that you happen to be craving or ought one try to be creative?