Friday, April 21, 2006

The Way of a Lady: Rule Twelve

A Lady is Confident.
She does not doubt in what she is able.

In order to provide what a Lady provides a certain level of self appraisal is necessary. She gives herself and she needs to know that she can "afford" it. Ladies exist at all levels of capabilities and economy. A Lady of more limited skills must know that to give what she is able is more important than pretending or attempting to give more. The recipient of her gift ends up being denied the benefit when it is only pretence. On the positive side, what such Lady is able to give, when given, crafts a gift both solid and enjoyed, uncompromised by limited abilities and self-questioning. This rule is also directed at the incurable optimist who thinks she is able and is not. She might not go through a social event fearful of discovery but she may think she can wear "that dress" when, we all know, she can't. She may believe that the height of the social season is occurring at her function but more than the function is being upended. Her reputation suffers. She will be assessed as someone who has, at least, lied to herself. She does not understand. In other words, a number of the necessaries of any claimant to the role of Lady are lost by this one error. Merely being a bit more self-knowledgeable and pulling back to the realm of her competence will save her. This error, many times, comes from a combination of acknowledging the heights to which a society can rise but being unable to believe that ones own character and gifts fall short. Most people see very easily the others that cumber the social slopes below them. They don't see up and past themselves quite so readily. But knowing your place requires that you see below and you see above. The place you are in the hierarchy of society is replete with opportunities for you natural abilities. It is the only place where you can be confident without calamity.

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